I'm human, I like things

I go to college. Everyday, I learn something new - things I want to know and things I don't really care about. But everyday, I learn/talk/discuss something about that big bad C word - capitalism. It doesn't help that I go to a liberal arts school. Sometimes, it seems like part of a pointed agenda to bash on this C-word that no one can really (and that no urban individual really wants to) live without.

So I guess I understand the points-of-view there are and often I find myself supporting the cause of the leftist brigade. Then, I come across a wonderful pair of shoes, like the ones in the photo above, I fall in love with them, look at the price tag, feel a bit shellshocked and suddenly remember all those social forces and jargon I talk/study about. For some (sad) reason, when I look at large department stores, expensive things to buy and designer brands, I'm reminded of human greed, capitalism, recessions, currency wars, George Bush. My conscience stops me from splurging when all these thoughts do a little recce in my head but what remains completely unanswered within me is that sinking feeling of disillusionment.

No, I am not upset or disappointed or disillusioned that I can't buy a pair of beautiful shoes or rather, that my conscience stops me from. No, at the heart of it all, I don't really care about those shoes, no matter how beautiful they are. Yet, each time I see a price tag or I look at designer labels, I am saddened because I am reminded of the socialization and connotations that we have all been taught to attach to these concepts. What truly saddens me is the fact that the quest for acquiring things has made us forget the inherent value of beauty.

Each shop, regardless of whether it is a thrift store or a Hermes holds something that has the potential to be beautiful. There is inherent beauty to certain objects and I believe, it is often this beauty that leads us to want to splurge or acquire those beautiful things. But often, beauty has a price tag attached to it. In today's world, owning something beautiful as a means of truly appreciating it comes with a hefty price tag that a majority can not avail of. This isn't to say that inexpensive things aren't beautiful but exquisite items are rare and therefore reserved for a select few. So the lefty Communists stare down at capitalists because they can afford this luxury and indulge in an activity that is so entirely segregated. But don't these two seemingly opposed groups love beauty almost equally, simply because both are human? Does the ability to splurge on luxuries automatically negate the existence of a person's moral compass?

But more importantly I have been wondering as I walk through a shop and discover beauty and art in clothes and accessories, since when did it become so wrong to appreciate beauty? Since when did material beauty become immoral and wrong?

I personally do not believe beauty can create such a rift between humans as it does in the political and economic realms of our lives today. It goes against the very concept of beauty. But what is it about our decisions about society, what is it about our world, what is it about our ambitions that allows beautiful things to become such harsh representations of a human? What is it about us that allows us to degrade beauty in such a fashion?

For most the answer goes back to economics and politics and law. But I wonder if the answer ought to be found elsewhere, if the answer truly ought to be found in the depths of our own consciences. For I believe we must question our own true motivations before we decide to dismiss other individuals, ideologies or ways of existence. Because maybe the challenge doesn't lie in demonizing certain aspects of this overarching thing called life but instead, revolves around something much greater: reconciling the goods and the bads to come to a system that doesn't so cruelly diminish the value of the wonderful things we are meant to and have gained the privilege of experiencing in life.