As we stop and stare

I'm deeply compelled to believing there is a right and a wrong way of doing things, or even one particular path that will lead to ultimate goodness. In my day-to-day life, I don't think I view situations in such black and white terms but when I think about the world, the existence of humans, the future of our civilization, my subconscious somehow seems to gravitate towards believing in this unclear, unfair dichotomy.

And maybe that's exactly how we were trained to be. For doesn't every unit of social existence depend upon some form of value system, rooted in religion or philosophy or ideology? Hasn't each individual been indoctrinated with some form of moral code. Isn't even our legal system an extension of a larger social morality that obviously exists only because we will it to?

I have no problems with morality or philosophy or religion. In fact I'm fascinated by all of them and believe that they're important in our world. But what hurts my somewhat idealistic view is that these abstract things are so deeply polarized in the way they view the world and suggest how people live their lives. More importantly though, the inherent beauty to each of these 'truths' is lost as we seek to fulfill them solely in their superficiality rather than embrace the esoteric meanings behind their existence. For I do not believe that the commandment 'do not kill' is wrong or unjust yet we approach it in such a passe way that it has lost its inherent value. These values, ideals, these virtues exist not for the sake of existence or because they are right, but because, I believe, there has been deep thought and compassion poured into its evolution. With the intensity and purity of emotion that went into creating these ideals now forgotten, what is the point of even following them?

Yet I have been trained to follow a certain system. So automatically, I have also been trained to recognize, criticize and judge myself and other people who do not seem to follow the value system. It startles me then, to see how a value system, a mechanism that is meant to further so-called good, can polarize people to such a degree, and create such divisions.

As I struggle to understand who I am, who I want to be and how I want to interact with people, I see myself searching for answers in those value systems that were instilled in me but also in books, thoughts, ideas and ideologies that I happen to come across. Yet I'm realizing that everything I can ever do or think is part of a longer trajectory that doesn't ultimately depend on my attempt to be 'good' based on a deep commitment to believing in the 'correctness' of a value system. To believe that it is, would be almost too naive and self-aggrandizing of a perspective. And what is the point of that?

Maybe, ultimately, what can truly guide us is compassion that forms the basis of human virtue. Honest compassion to resurrect the beauty of the world.