This summer (yes, summers are hotbeds for growth) I was sitting with Rachel on the terrace of a restaurant in Changspa, Leh talking about life and school and everything in general, as we waited for our Chinese manchurian with rice. Our conversation that touched upon academics and boys and our futures somehow also got into a conversation about accepting people.
I have a hard time accepting. I don't know if it's because of who I grew up around, some karmic baggage, or just simply, my strong-headed independence. I'm trying to get better at it though and while I was sharing with Rachel my moments of intolerance in close relationships, we agreed that it was essential to be able to get along with everybody, regardless of who or what or why. This obviously seems like a bold proposition as well as one that won't be consciously shared by many. Most importantly, getting along with everyone suggests one must be willing to cooperate even if major ideological divides exist. But underlying society's encouragement to be independent and opinionated individuals, cooperation has become the big bad C-word for how can there be a confluence between being strong-headed and cooperating?
But sitting in that rooftop restaurant I think both of us made that realization that who we are is a multitude of identities. I am multifaceted and unique, just like everyone else. The facet that I project is both embedded and affects the environment I'm in and if I was to be judged solely by the amalgamation of a singular facet and environment, I am not being respected or truly understood.
I recognize my multiple identities and rely heavily on them to justify my actions. I think we all do. But recognizing those multiple identities in others is always a task, particularly one that rests deeply also in what identity I choose to display. While my brain can understand this, it seems a mere rationalization since the actual application of this requires a heart and a soul that is much deeper, much more reflective.
We sat pondering this and hoping silently that we could develop the compassion and wisdom needed to recognize a person as a multifaceted individual rather than a singular entity.
A few weeks later, I read Identity and Violence by Amartya Sen. I was filled with utter happiness when I realized that this Nobel-winning economist had converted my thoughts into an academic argument that was available to numerous people around the world. He took it a step further suggesting that identities must be prioritized based on the situation.
Maybe this is where we clashed.
Because how can the projection of an identity be isolated from the environment? It is only natural that both are mutually constitutive, so how can the projection depend upon the context when the latter also depends on the former? More importantly, how can we prioritize identities because isn't it really the prioritization that has led to conflict? I'm not, even subconsciously, suggesting that each one of us doesn't have one or few dominant identities that define the way we behave. In fact, we are most aware of these dominant identities because we often make decisions from those places. But can't a dominant identity be recognized along with a smaller one? Can't we recognize that both of them must coexist in order for each individual to be? So I wonder, is it really the prioritization of identities or the reconciliation of them? Is it really about making my identity as a woman stand out more than mine as an Indian? Can they not coexist?
From where I see it, recognizing where those two identities meet, and where in fact, all my identities meet, is possibly the only way towards conflict resolution. Too many, too many times people have fought and battled over issues of identity. Sikhs, warriors, Muslims, crusaders - this one identity that is absolutely essential towards being is one of the reasons we struggle, we fight, and we believe we are just in skirmishes.
And this is why I write this blog. As a way to unravel my understanding of my own identities and those of this world and everyone in it that ultimately, hopefully, can help me conceptualize a solidified method of peace construction and conflict resolution. To me, this is something crucial to the world in which we live. We've grown smaller and closer together making it easier to notice differences. How do we, as individuals, as communities, as a world function and cooperate in the face of these differences?
Sometimes, it can all start with a small blog that no one ever reads.
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